Findings From Recent Paper, ‘Kombucha: cooler than black tea’

“It’s all about the healthy fats, you know. Avocados and peanut oil are bulletproofing my stomach against calories. It’s the nasty sugar that has been holding people back for years.” He insists.

In a recent paper titled ‘Kombucha: cooler than black tea’ scientists found that actually showing people you are consuming kombucha increases its ability to protect against common cancers and heart disease.

It was also found that regardless of your position in social hierarchy, the common and extremely cheap black tea, could provide similar, if not greater health benefits than Kombucha.

This was met with significant outrage from several instagram personalities who claim that black tea packaging isn’t half as hip as kombucha.

“Anything that costs less than $5 a bottle cannot be good for you” Proclaimed aspiring fitness coach Charlie. “For anything less than 50c a cup it has to be filled with GMO’s” He added.